You will seldom see me blogging at this hour..It is 1.35am..Todae is THE NITE where I’m hosting..Was on afternoon 1/2 day leave again..Thought of combing Bugis Village again to see if there is any retro clothes that is reasonably priced for me to buy..Met a friend for 30 mins to grab a quick bite at Tampines before hitting Bugis..
Lo & behold,in one quiet corner of Century Square,there is this shop called “Coax” (seems to be a similar concept like This Fashion)..I browse through the racks of clothes & chose 3 pieces to try on..After much hesitation,I finally chose a black & white polka dots dress in a silky material..(Retro enough,rite)..The price tag? $28.
I had a white oval-shaped earrings..The question is “what shoes should I match with the dress?”..The first thought was red pvc covered shoes..God is really good & thank God for sales sometimes..I popped over at Isetan & found a red PVC material shoes with small checkers at the front portion..The price tag? $23 after discount (with compliments to my colleague for another 10% discount fm her Isetan card)..
I was really pleased & satisfied with these 2 purchases (though i may or may not wear the polka dots dress again but i love the shoes though is still a little hard)…
I felt that the atmosphere tonite is better compared to the previous nite,crowd is more responsive,me & my co-host really “Ra-Ra” all the way,using every fibre of energy that we have to give it the best shot..In spite of the fact that we did not really run through the events fm introduction onwards,thank God that I have a good co-host..Guess we can really flowed & the “mo qi” is there (this is only our 2nd time working together)…At the end of the day,we just hoped that the people had fun & really enjoyed themselves..
Though I’m really super tired now & knocking out anytime,I feel a sense of achievement as a host,having giving my best to run the show,cheering the people,motivating them to clap & cheer,entertaining them..
To all my fellow co labourers:
Let me give it up to all of you (a line that i kep saying tonite during the party)..Despite everything,we still give our best shot tonite..I can see that all of us tried..We only have one more hurdle to cross before we bid 2006 farewell..Let’s do it & not let the flame dimmed..
Archive for December, 2006
THE NITE..
Is it a girl thing?
Though I’m still feeling the hangover fm Xmas & my physical & mental being are still exhausted from the hype & running fm 1 svc to another,i still need to get my clothes for the next Big Thing - Retro Nite 2006…
Arranged to meet my co-host yesterday afternoon to settle his & mine retro clothes..In the end,only managed to meet him at 4+ to comb thru Bugis Village..We only had 2 hrs before the rest at 6pm..We got to be focus & know what we are looking for in the huge array of tops,bottoms,accessories,bags,etc..Frankly speaking,it was not even a shopping trip..To me,it felt more like,”Focus,get what we need & be done with it”..
But for my co-host,it seems to bring forth a different light to him & he said next time he must come here to buy shirts..
But,sad to say..someone felt left out..
If I knew that he didnt let The Significant One know about it,I wld have told him to ask The Significant One if there is any stuff The Significant One needed or The Significant One can join us (i think it will be even better to have another opinion)..Come to think abt it,I did not tell my Significant One (though i think the response will be “Orh,ok lor”)..But if my Significant One was the one doing the shopping & didn’t tell me,I wld have flare up in the same manner as The One..
Is this a girl thing? That we feel left out? That we are not part of the “group”,”click”? But I can understand & empathize with The One.. This episode leaves me much to ponder the difference between man & woman..
Creative Xmas Present
If u read in of my earlier blogs,I shared smthg abt creativity & an idea that I received fm a trip to JB..This is it..Tata..The hand-made Xmas gift for my CG mbrs..While doing them,I had a revelation..Chopsticks always come in pairs & you need both of them to pick up food..It cannot function just with one stick.
It is just like our relationship with our Heavenly Papa,we need to work in unity with Him..We cannot do without Him..It is also the same in our relationship with people..No man is an island..We will need people to help us,encourage us,work together in our workplace or ministry,etc..We also cannot do without people in our life..This brings me to the cross - a vertical relationship with our Papa & a horziontal relationship with people..Such a simple thing but yet sometimes,we read too much into it..
Bus Driver
It was a Sat nite after chc service..I rushed from Tampines to Dover & spent $18 on a cab to visit & take care of my dear who’s running a fever at 38 degree & having gastric pain..His parents are overseas & brother is not home yet (he didnt even have the energy to walk to the kitchen to take a cup of water,so “ke lian”)..Anyway,that’s not the focus.
Tired,thirsty & sleepy but I still waited for the bus to go home fm his place..Temptation of taking a cab sounds so inviting but I told myself “NO” (no more unnecessary spending)..
The ride home was a good 35 mins or so..When it came to a bus stop at Bugis,it took a while before the bus start moving after the passengers alighted & boarded the bus..Opening my eyes & thinking that it could be a traffic light junction,I realised that the bus driver actually waited for one Ah Ma to board the bus,find a seat before driving off..I thought that was a very nice gesture & a kind act of the bus driver..Frankly speaking,how many bus drivers actually bothered to wait for the elderly to find a seat first b4 zooming off? Sad to say,not many..
Where has the act of graciousness gone to? (If I’m not wrong,we even had some campaign about graciousness)..Do we really need to be educated? Shouldn’t it be a kind act that comes from the heart? If you are the bus driver,what would you do?
Catching Up..
Went out earlier to meet a sec sch fren for lunch..Come to think of it,hvent seen him for almost 10 yrs since we left JC..It was really great catching up with him & he has not changed at all..The looks,the mannerism,the same long-winded him..
Wanted to catch up with him long ago already but never had the opportunity..It just dawned upon me that we have all grown up & the topics that were discussed revolved around work,family,places there has good food,how our peers are doing,”did u catch up with so & so”,etc..Gone are the days whr we talked about studies,exams calling one another for help before the Big “E” day..
It was a fruitful 4 hrs that we spend together.Of course,the most impt thing is to invite him & his girlfriend to the Xmas Celebration..I pray that they will come & basked in the atmosphere of love and giving & truly experience the spirit of Xmas.
Baby pictures..So adorable
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I know..I know..But i can’t resist not putting up pics of all these adorable young ones…
For the sake of the parents,the BB who sticked out her tongue,in a Flying Girl position & has a hanky over her head is….Alethea Loh En Qi…Her equally good looking parents are Matthew Loh (the friend who created this blog for me) & Rachel Tan..(ps; just added in on 23/12/06@1.31am)
Bad Service
Was just talking to a colleague (doing sales fm another dept) earlier as I needed to pass her a wedding gift from some of us as we can’t attend her wedding dinner.She told me a horrorified news “her wedding gown is spolit”! Can u believe it? The gown she wore to take pics for the album,the gown that she is going to wear on the Big Day…The best part is they told her only now,when her wedding is in 1 week’s time.They just told her to find another gown..That’s it..No alternatives offered or efforts made to pacify the client.What kind of sales service is this?
She said she really regret going to them..The after sales svc is really bad..I shall not list the name of the bridal shop..
My pst always say there are 3 major decisions that we need to make in life: (a)the day you choose to give your heart to Jesus; (b)the church you want to be planted; (c)the person that you want to marry..
Marriage is a lifetime commitment & it is a covenant..How can they just messed up someone’s wedding just like this?
Singapore has always been talking about improving sales/customer service..Looks like we have a long long way to go..Some friends even commented that the bridal shops in JB offered better services than SG (not mentioning the fact that the price is also slashed by half)..Just becos it is a 1 time event where the bridal shop earn $$ does not mean that they can provide bad service..Have they ever wonder what is “word of mouth”?
Anyway,I felt so irriated & unjustified for this colleague that I have an urge to write to Forum for her…Should I do it? Hmmm…
What have I learned so far?
There are just 14 days left before we say “bye” to 2006. This has been a challenging year for me (esp as a cgl) & my emotions went up & down just like the roller coaster.
In the last 11 mths, I learnt the following:
- People can be ungrateful even if u have done nice things for them;
- Sometimes,people who are closest to you can be the ones who disappoint u the most;
- Not everyone is for you;
- People can be very stubborn;
- People can be very fake;
- I learnt not to be so naive;
- I still have a long way to go in learning to take things with a pinch of salt;
- Someone told me that u cannot put too much personal emotion in leading, if not, u will feel very disappointed & upset;
- Not everyone will appreciate u for what u have done (even if it costs u your money, time, life, energy, health, etc);
- Being a cgl is like being a fool sometimes;
- A spiritual leader said that Cg is not growing (no new people) cos’ you don’t have shepherds to take care of them (your helpers are not helping u). Alot of things cannot always be done by the cgl.
- It never rains but pours, bad things like to happen at the same time;
- Being a cgl is very lonely at times;
- If no one is doing the job, then u got to be the person to plough & do it;
- People think & feel that I’m very naggy, fierce;
- Rumours are hard to control (so the bible says that the tongue is the most difficult to tame) & it can really destroy relationships;
- Sometimes,my colleagues (people in the world) cared more abt me & asked how I am coping with leading a cg than people who shared the same faith
Questions that I need to find an answer to:
- Will I be happier if i was never a cgl?
- Do i have what it takes to be a cgl, to lead, guide, shepherd the people that God entrust to me?
- Do I still want to do it?
- Will revivial of souls come into the cg?
- Will I be able to impact lives?
- Will I be able to raise up leaders who are willing to bring the gospel into the world, someone who will really shine & go all the way for God?
- Have I become a better person in the midst of leading?
- Have my capacity & faith been stretched?
- Have I grown as an individual?
So many questions that need the understanding & revelation that can only come by the word,the presence & encounter of God..
It sounds bleak & negative…But I know myself,I can whine now to vent out my frustration & unhappiness..But at the end of the day,I will still feed & encourage myself with the word & presence of God..I do believe that breakthrough will come so long as I hold on to the calling that He has given to me.
Tough Time
Everyone is busy shopping, buying gifts for their loved ones & getting into the mood of Xmas… But how many really know that Jesus is the reason for the season?
Year end is coming & by right, everyone shld be rejoicing & happy…I ought to too… But yet, I am now going thru the toughest & most difficult period for the whole of 2006…What a joke it is…
Members that I have spent time giving personal bs, wanting to be discipled, getting them a good agent when they need to buy house, etc… But yet, they suddenly just dropped an email to say feel like having a nearer Cg, no need to persuade them to change their mind, dont respond to sms & dont want to meet to talk… How sad & grieving can that be? Have u ever put yourself in my shoes & spare a thought in my position?
Member say that she feel that she cant keep up with chc anymore & wants to visit other chc.. She never felt that this is her home chc… I know she wants to be more grounded in the word of God but she does not enjoy the bs that chc is having… Well, all I can say is we go fm one level to another level & the basic foundation gota be strong b4 we can take more “chim” stuff. At least, tat’s what I feel. But everyone is entitled to their own opinions. At least, she is being accountable by telling me instead of dropping bombshell then mia… Even some of my mbrs feel a little disappointed (just that they dont say it as they claimed)…Who are the ones who are really for me? Who are the ones who will really go the extra mile for the Cg?
Tough, isnt it? I really want to see revival & souls in His kingdom. To be frank, I have never pressed mbrs for numbers. Though I do not deny that numbers count but at the end of the day, I feel that it is about lives being touched & changed by the love of God. I thought I can believe for a big pool of friends for Xmas as we end the year… But, what am I going to do now? Helpless… Lost… Sad… Puzzled… Spiritual attack… No motivation…
Fruitless? Barrenness?
Even if I cry buckets, it is not going to help matters… Papa, my heart is so painful… What options do I have? How am I going to end this year?
But I still got to tell myself to fight the good fight of faith & be a strong person who never gives up,never say die to the circumstances..Is tough but I still have to try my best to do whatever I can..He is my strength & the only reason why I can still go on..
Hope & Reality…
Feeling the “blues” todae..Feeling the need to write..
I like to visualise things,scenearios or things to happen in a certain way but they usually do not turn out the way I wanted..Worse,sometimes,it took an unexpected turn & all hopes are dashed & here I am, still puzzled by what’s going on..What we hope for usually differs from what we see in reality..Why is thr such a difference?
Sometimes, i wonder how long I will do what I’m currently doing..Surely,God didn’t call me to a ministry of barrenness or unfruitfulness? It has been a challenging 2006 & there are times when I really feel like quitting..It is true..It can be quite lonely smtimes as a leader,times of not knowing what to do,times of dry seasons,times of no breakthroughs..It is demoralising to know that someone can just dropped a bombshell on you with no explanation or reason & has a 180 degree change in attitude & heart..Is puzzling & I do not know why..The worst thing is the person does not want to meet up or say what has caused the change..
I sacrifice my time,energy,efforts,family time,etc to respond to the call..Has it been worth it?Though we know that our rewards are in heaven,but where are the rewards in this earth? I want to disciple people but not everyone is willing to be discipled..I want to give personal bible studies but they are not responsive & say “not their priority yet”, “don’t like the structure of the bible study”,”feel that the church is run like a corporation”…Is it true that as the church grows bigger, peoples’ heart for prayer & bible study grown cold? Is it really the case that they can’t flow with the church anymore? Why? Why would people want to change church? This thought has never crossed my mind..
I’m really tired..What else can I do? Can I just leave everything in His hands & just pray for miracles? But, will the miracles come? And when will they come?
