After Tue mtg this week,Pst Kong wanted to meet all the females & males (i.e. CGL/ML/SOT) separately. We have guessed what topic Pst wanted to share with us - relationship between a man & a woman. Pst is very concerned over the singles in church,which is why there is a need to split us.
Pst is really a good spiritual father,watching & praying over each & everyone of us. He not just encourages the sisters but he also taught practical things that the sisters can do or cannot do. Though I wasn’t in the man’s section,but I figured out that 90% of what Pst shared with the sisters,he also did it to the brothers. The only difference is probably the top 3 needs of a man vs a woman & the questions that were asked.
So on the way home,I was asking Weng about what Pst shared with them since he heard what Pst shared with the sisters as he was doing oscar. He shared briefly with me until he came to this point where Pst said that the top first need of a man is “Recreation companionship” (the 2nd need is Attractivess & the 3rd need is Admiration,if u want to know)…Pst said,guys just want to have fun (Pst is so funny to say that “sorry,we are very shallow”…hahaaa).
Weng was saying that when Pst shared this point,he looked at RJ,Alex & they began to laugh,which I find it amusing.So I probed but he was a little reluctant to say at first..But then,I quoted what Pst say about the top 3rd need of a woman is openness & honesty (the top 1st need is affection,followed by conversation)…
So he said,when he looked at Kw,he also quite sian cos Kw can’t join them in their outing (with the gang) & Kw also quite sad. Weng said that he feels that he will miss his friends alot (although they all agreed that is not a bad thing,just need time to get used to the martial status & probably the married life)…
After he said that,I went complete silence throughout the whole journey…Not that I’m angry or what…Just that I need to filter that thought,digest,think over & ponder…
I believe I will miss my friends too…But that does not mean that I stop him from going out with his friends. Neither does it mean that I stop fellowshipping with my friends.. Just that our priorities in life do change when we enter different seasons of our life. To most of the women,I believe that family is still their top priority, which is why many ladies are willing to sacrifice (sometimes even at their own expense) just so to hold the family together, for the sake of the children & husband. For majority of the women,our lives do revolve around our husband,children & family after getting married because I believe this is our commitment to them.
I think I have never stop him from going out with anybody or taking away the freedom of him hanging around with his friends. In fact,I think most of the time,we do fellowship a lot with his friends. The times that we spent together as a couple by ourselves is not as many as compared to the times that we spend together with our friends…Nothing bad about that & I’m not complaining…Just that I feel that sometimes a little more accountability do helps do make me feel more assured & secured..And he probably knows (I hope he knows..Even if he does not know,he prob won’t ask either) why sometimes I just go quiet when I hear him going out with a particular person(s) or group…Most of the time,I choose to tune off because I do not want to know the activities that are involved or the places that they went….Even though sometimes,in my heart,I really do hope that he will not go but still I will not voice it out.
Some kind of fun I can appreciate & enjoy…but there are just some kind of fun (which is fun to one but it does not seem so to me & I’m not referring to the “swimming” session) that I cannot appreciate…I’m not being super spiritual but certain kind of fun are just not in my makeup…
When he made the comment about Kw,it also brought to my memory a question that I used to have (which sometimes still pop out occasionally) - have he ever had a tinge of regret about getting married? Because I always felt that he’s not ready to settle down for marriage until another 1-3 years..I always had the feeling that he wants to have a few years of fun with his friends before settling down..Though the wedding preparations went ahead & he participate,but somehow or rather, this question do rings in my mind sometimes… Is this pre-wedding fears? Or am I simply thinking too much?
