While having dinner yesterday before we went for our leaders’ meeting,Matthew was sharing with me about his idea about the photo montage for my wedding. He say he very stressed also while doing it but I know that he just want to produce the best for me & Weng, giving us a beautiful piece of work of excellence & a story to tell.

Today,I had a glimpse of what it was…just a very very short glimpse of about a min of the montage/video…Is so cool & I love it…

So Matt,if you are reading this, I really appreciate it a lot…and your whole family who are all activated to help in my wedding…

Can you guess it?

Yes, is “The Question” that most people asked me these few days…”Are you excited?” “Are you nervous?” “Are you counting down to the Big Day?”

Excited… Yes
Counting Down…Yes
Nervous… Hmmmm…Not really (yet)… hahhaa

I think I am probably one of those few brides who still seem quite relaxed though the Big Day is 10 days away. Though now is the most intense period where many things need to tie down,especially the RSVP list & next is the most problematic seating arrangement.. I don’t feel nervous yet…I think I’m pretty cool about it…Weng will probably feel more nervous than me & he probably tell you that I’m that kind of person that even if I am nervous,I can still act quite normal wan..I quite steady wan..chuckles…haaahaaa

The time now is 130am,just came back not too long after spending the whole day outside with the people whom I love.

Went for massage & facial with my buddy today. She needed a breather & I needed to pamper myself since is my birthday!!! We spend a few hours together,eating our fave japanese food & simply just talking about anything & everything…By the time we were done with our food & she running some errands,my darling has also knocked off.

I must really praise & thank my dear that he really spend effort this year for my birthday…I was really surprised that he didn’t ask me what birthday gift I wanted cos every year, he will ask & bug me,knowing that I’m a very practical person,preferring gifts that I can use…Not only that,he thought of the place to go as compared to last year where he will keep asking me where I want to go.. Well,he bought me a watch & a perfume..

So he planned to bring me to have dinner at this restaurant at Marina South Pier where you can get to have the sea view, supposedly nice ambience.. But alas,when we reached there, the restaurant has CLOSED (it looks like it has been closed down)..Weng was saying that no wonder he called many times & nobody picked up the phone.

So, he decided to go Sentosa instead, hoping to find some exotic place to eat..But almost every single restaurant that we went is closed,even Cafe Del Mar (which supposedly is a hip & happening place)… Weng was alittle disappointed & he says that every restaurant seems to “fly his aeroplane” & considering that it’s a Friday.. Well,I told him IS OK…

To me,though I feel alittle sad that we can’t go the restaurant at Marina South Pier (not for the food but for the atmosphere), I do enjoy the process of holding each other’s hands & walking along just to find & search for the difference places that we can go.. I can choose to be unhappy over it or I can choose to enjoy the process..Sometimes,the destination is not so important but the process & the person whom you are with..
In the end,we ended up at Vivo,grab a quick bite at BK & went off to catch the show “12 Lotus”….

That’s it… Nothing fanciful…Nothing out of the norm…Though it rained almost the whole day but it did not dampen my spirit…Yeah,stepping into the next season of my life…and being at the crossroad of my life…

For all of you who has either sms me or wrote in my Facebook,just want to say a Big Thank You for remembering my Birthday & thanks for your friendship & the namelist goes like this:
Shuzhen, Linda, Andrew (msg fm India), Joelle, Joan, Joshua, RJ, Matt, Victoria, Bea, Andrew Mok (my wedding album photographer), Gary (HM’s hubby), Gene, Ah Fen, Clement, Matthew Han, Carrie…
(Was telling Weng that the whole world has msg me but sad to say, not my zone leaders)

For all who has blessed me with birthday gifts,a Big Thank You to…What have I received so far - 2 figures, a bag from the zone leaders, Espirit voucher & a handmade card from buddy, a very creative mini book filled with Weng & mine photos + love offering…

God has been good & faithful in my life & my prayers & wishes are as follow:
Ministry - hope to see fruits in my cg ministry where I can see growth by year end
Personal - hope to have a better paying job & a switch of career, financial abundance, family salvation,greater wisdom & anointing,strong marriage with Weng
Of course,there are others wishes but I shan’t share them here…haaahhaa

I want to thank my dear for loving me the way I am, accepting & embracing me for who I am…Darling,I know you will be reading this.. (cos finally, he has decided to read my blog despite the numerous times that RJ has told him too..heee..thks RJ)

I was talking to one of my peers on Fri over msn,saying that we need to celebrate someone’s birthday in the coming week. So the reply was “Ok”… Then I asked, “So am I supposed to get my own present”? She went “HUH”… So I said, “Never mind if you didn’t get what I was saying”…

It ended up that I finally told her what it was when she continued to probe. She offered to get my present but I told her No since I knew that she is financially tight & the rest haven’t even given their portion of share in the zone contribution. She offered someone else, which I said “Is Ok.. I think I’m used to it already”…Cos nobody appreciates or probably remembers it anyway..and that’s the sad part of being the birthday coordinator sometimes” (and to think that I’m also the part-time administrator cum treasurer)… So, I said maybe I will go get my own gift (if I really have the time & if I can remember) & pass it to this peer before we start the meeting.. How sincere can it get…

I was contemplating of not even getting the gift but I can foresee how the situation will turn up cos someone happen to share the same birthday as me. He probably be the only one who will remember but then, he won’t think about getting someone else to get my gift cos’ he simply cannot multi-task & he probably trust that someone else will do the job. Imagine we sang Birthday Song to him & he probably says “What about Rachel?”… That’s why things will get blown up.

I’m still toying with this thought…Cos I still haven’t got time to get the gift… (To think that my buddy has already asked me for my wishlist)… What an irony cos these people are the ones that I see every week & supposedly, we are to fight together as one…It sets me thinking “where is the closeness & unity?” Is not just about the birthday but there is no sense of togetherness or oneness..

It started off as just a simple thought of visiting this flat for viewing,knowing in my mind that the COV will be beyond what we can afford. The exterior of this block of flat looks fine as it has undergone upgrading. Once we step into the flat,I went “WOW” (not for the positive) cos’ I can see the degree of extensive reno that is needed.

It is a 34 yrs old HDB 3 Rm flat located at just a stone’s throw away from my family home,at Geylang Bahru. To our surprise,the first person who was interested in the flat offered only $5K above valuation,considering that this area is central & conveniently located with provision stores,NTUC,wet market nearby.

So we just told the agent that we will wait & see,since the valuation report is not out either.

For the next 1 hour,my emotions went through a whole range of ups & downs - excited…to buy or not to buy…worthy or not worthy…within or out of budget…etc…etc…Plus,it does not help that the agent called & said someone offered $10K above valuation & wants to sign the option by 6pm.

That’s when both of us started to call our parents & friends to ask for their opinion…I like the location but not the flat itself…Friends said “don’t rush into it” especially when your are getting married next month & market is coming down soon…My real estate officer at work said that it probably take another 2 - 3 quarters before the price will come down.

The conclusion is — someone offered $14K & the deal was closed…Now that I sit down & write,I think it is not a bad thing that we didn’t purchase this flat..

Like what Bea says,if God can shows us one,God can show us others (and at a better deal with a better condition)…

Leaving a place of shelter & protection
Leaving a place of familiarity
Leaving a place where I am the princess
And stepping into a place of the unknown
Entering into a future with apprehension,fears and anticipation

With hope and expectation on one hand
But also with worries and fears on the other hand

Faith,this is when I need you

God,I still choose to believe in You
The perfect One who never fails
The One who will comfort me
The One who will uphold me
The One I can always run to and hide

After Tue mtg this week,Pst Kong wanted to meet all the females & males (i.e. CGL/ML/SOT) separately. We have guessed what topic Pst wanted to share with us - relationship between a man & a woman. Pst is very concerned over the singles in church,which is why there is a need to split us.

Pst is really a good spiritual father,watching & praying over each & everyone of us. He not just encourages the sisters but he also taught practical things that the sisters can do or cannot do. Though I wasn’t in the man’s section,but I figured out that 90% of what Pst shared with the sisters,he also did it to the brothers. The only difference is probably the top 3 needs of a man vs a woman & the questions that were asked.

So on the way home,I was asking Weng about what Pst shared with them since he heard what Pst shared with the sisters as he was doing oscar. He shared briefly with me until he came to this point where Pst said that the top first need of a man is “Recreation companionship” (the 2nd need is Attractivess & the 3rd need is Admiration,if u want to know)…Pst said,guys just want to have fun (Pst is so funny to say that “sorry,we are very shallow”…hahaaa).

Weng was saying that when Pst shared this point,he looked at RJ,Alex & they began to laugh,which I find it amusing.So I probed but he was a little reluctant to say at first..But then,I quoted what Pst say about the top 3rd need of a woman is openness & honesty (the top 1st need is affection,followed by conversation)…

So he said,when he looked at Kw,he also quite sian cos Kw can’t join them in their outing (with the gang) & Kw also quite sad. Weng said that he feels that he will miss his friends alot (although they all agreed that is not a bad thing,just need time to get used to the martial status & probably the married life)…

After he said that,I went complete silence throughout the whole journey…Not that I’m angry or what…Just that I need to filter that thought,digest,think over & ponder…

I believe I will miss my friends too…But that does not mean that I stop him from going out with his friends. Neither does it mean that I stop fellowshipping with my friends.. Just that our priorities in life do change when we enter different seasons of our life. To most of the women,I believe that family is still their top priority, which is why many ladies are willing to sacrifice (sometimes even at their own expense) just so to hold the family together, for the sake of the children & husband. For majority of the women,our lives do revolve around our husband,children & family after getting married because I believe this is our commitment to them.

I think I have never stop him from going out with anybody or taking away the freedom of him hanging around with his friends. In fact,I think most of the time,we do fellowship a lot with his friends. The times that we spent together as a couple by ourselves is not as many as compared to the times that we spend together with our friends…Nothing bad about that & I’m not complaining…Just that I feel that sometimes a little more accountability do helps do make me feel more assured & secured..And he probably knows (I hope he knows..Even if he does not know,he prob won’t ask either) why sometimes I just go quiet when I hear him going out with a particular person(s) or group…Most of the time,I choose to tune off because I do not want to know the activities that are involved or the places that they went….Even though sometimes,in my heart,I really do hope that he will not go but still I will not voice it out.

Some kind of fun I can appreciate & enjoy…but there are just some kind of fun (which is fun to one but it does not seem so to me & I’m not referring to the “swimming” session) that I cannot appreciate…I’m not being super spiritual but certain kind of fun are just not in my makeup…

When he made the comment about Kw,it also brought to my memory a question that I used to have (which sometimes still pop out occasionally) - have he ever had a tinge of regret about getting married? Because I always felt that he’s not ready to settle down for marriage until another 1-3 years..I always had the feeling that he wants to have a few years of fun with his friends before settling down..Though the wedding preparations went ahead & he participate,but somehow or rather, this question do rings in my mind sometimes… Is this pre-wedding fears? Or am I simply thinking too much?

Weng & I have been discussing where we want to go for our honeymoon since a month ago.

Natas has come & gone…Still,we didn’t decide during that period,plus,it was FOP & both of us were busy.Surprisingly,the one who accompanied me to the Natas fair was my dear mummy…Even though I took several of the promotion leaflets home,we have never had an opportunity to discuss & look thru them together..

But we did thought of going Bali (or at least I think the suggestion really came from me)…I suppose Bali seems like a good place to go for a short getaway since Weng also don’t have so many days leave + he just settled down in a new job + $$$ concerns…

Thanks to Jie who offered his help by telling me where I can source for airfares,etc…

Finally,I have done all my searches & research on the airfares,the place to go in Bali & the hotel to stay…Yes,everything is booked yesterday..So,we be leaving for Bali on 070908 for 3 days & 2 nights…I think is good enough..

Now,I just have to pray for Weng that he be able to close that GTR & BMW sales…If these 2 are closed soon (God,hopefully by next week),then I think my desire to go US in October for the real long honeymoon can come to pass…

I have never really been a morning person.To wake up at 6am,wash-up,put on make-up & then go for morning prayer meeting is a struggle for me. My flesh will be telling me to go back & sleep,keep snoozing the alarm…The last time that I have to wake up at 6am was 10 yrs ago when I was still in JC. I don’t even wake up so early to go SOT last year.

I really struggled on the first day & was trying to stir myself,especially we were seated down.Throughout that whole monday,I was feeling tired & lethargic.But when Tue came,suddenly,there seems to be new strength that came upon me as I began to pray.I felt good & even after praying,I felt that the joy of the Lord was with me the whole day.I was happy & cheery the whole day.Though Tue was a super long long nite for me,having a great session with Rev Bambung, having our spiritual dad talking to us about his concerns & most of all having to wait for Weng until our spiritual dad finished with the guys..I still needed to wait some more until he verify the oscar..I was not as tired as I thought I will be.
By the time I lie on my bed,it’s almost 130am..But I was still pretty alive in my spirit..

It sure is good to seek God’s face & His glory early in the morning.It really sets a difference platform for the whole day.I felt more renewed & more energy throughout the whole day…Maybe I should consider changing the time I do my daily devotion .

The next few blogs to come are all written on the same day…In case you wonder why,cos’ I simply have not blog for 1 week..

These are the accumulation that I experienced in the last 1 week..

Some good,some thought provoking,some my own personal feelings…