Mummy’s guilt – money sense

Yes!!! I survived the first 6 months of primary school life or rather we (aka Ms Inez & me) survived. I’m glad to say that we are still in one piece although there are moments of hair-pulling of waking up a sleepy girl who refuse to sleep early the previous night or the screaming moments of her not doing her homework at her grandparents place. Did I even mention about the review feedback given by her Maths and English teacher that I have a talkative girl but yet at the same time displaying full confidence at presentation times?

This incident that I am going to write happened several weeks ago and Yes, it took me that long to decide if I should even document it. Worried that I be judged, worried that I am not a great mum, worried that others will look at me with specks in their eyes…But I need to be an example to my children, to teach them that it is ok to be wrong, it is ok to make mistakes and what’s most important is the courage to say sorry.

We have been giving Inez $2 per day as her daily pocket allowance (which in my opinion was just too much, she’s not going to eat a “cow”). Everyday, I will ask her what she had for lunch (to ensure that she really eats for recess and not spend her time playing), so usually, she will have remaining of about $0.60 to $1; depending on what she eats. One night, she came back with > $2 which is very puzzling, so I queried and asked. Throughout it all, I asked at least 3 times the whole story as she was not willing to tell the truth at first as she kept saying, “I don’t know…I don’t know la…”; which obviously pissed me to the max and I gave her a stern, strong lecture which of course let to the “outpouring of the fountain aka her tears.

Finally, she said the truth that her friend paid and she did not give her friend the money. She said since her friend wanted to pay so she just let her pay for it. Seriously, at that point in time, I was super guilt-ridden as I think I was too harsh on her earlier…after all, she is only a 6.5 going 7 year old girl. I REALLY REALLY REALLY felt very bad and apologetic to her. After that, I sat her down and spoke with her, explaining to her why it is important to handle money with care, why it is important for her to pay her friend as we won’t know if the friend’s parents will question her spending of the money. I apologized to her and gave her a tight hug (hoping actually to make myself better) and she promised that she will return the money to her friend the next day.

It was a lesson for her and for me. For her, to learn to be a good steward of God’s money. For me, to not be so quick to jump into conclusions and start accusing a poor child.

Decoding the children’s basic love language

Recently, I commented a friend’s hash tag that she posted on Instagram and she replied me to ask me to be her “shifu” aka master as she thinks that I am handling my 3 children pretty well…Far from the truth, I told her… What she don’t get to see is my hair-pulling stunts, my shouting matches with them, my moments of breaking down in anger and tears…I’m sure all of you parents know what I am talking about.

Please do not be deceived by their angelic looks.

I do not know what I do not know but I learn from my mistakes to be a better mum. To all the parents out there, you are the best for your children, please shout the naysayers off! They do not know what they do not know and no one family is the same.

I like to hear and learn from other parents – the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. I’m thankful to all the mummy and daddy friends that I have in my inner circle of friends and those that I have known from their blogs. You do not know how much a “savior” you have been by reading your blogs and learning from you.

I also like to read parenting books but am very subjective to picking and buying. Now, I have just finished reading “The 5 Love Languages of Children”. It’s an easy, practical book and to a certain extent was a little  self-reflection for me. With it, I think I have managed to decode my children’s basic love language.

Inez – Words of Affirmation and Quality Time

Her basic two main love language hovers between this two and it could be a tie. She loves how we praise her whenever she did a nice piece of work or when we thank her for helping out. She loves her one to one date with either of us whenever we have the chance to bring her out. On such occasion, she behaves exceptionally well with zero tantrum throwing even when she is tired.

Alvez – Quality Time

Surprisingly for a boy, his basic love language is quality time. I do not know why but he seems to always look forward to his one to one time with us. Perhaps being the middle child, he feels that he needs to be compared to his elder sister yet he cannot whine like the younger brother. During this special time, he will be on his best behavior without the usual “wimpy whining emotions” being displayed.

Reyez – Physical Touch

This boy is the most affectionate in the house; freely he offers his hugs and kisses to all of us, the grandparents and cousins, our close friends and even people whom he met the first time. He is the only one who automatically hugs and kisses everyone before he goes to bed, no one taught him that.

Knowledge is power and I definitely believe that all parents need to be empowered to be a better parent as we learn along the journey.

I’m just a mum

What’s your reaction whenever you hear your kid screaming, “MUMMY!!!” To be honest, I cringe at the sound of it as it usually one of the top 3 things that my children needs me to deal with – (1) Find their things; (2) Settle their dispute aka sibling squabbles and (3) Help them with schoolwork and the latter two usually happens.

Not only do the kids yell for MUMMMY, I do get the occasional – “Dear, where is my shoe bag or When is the baby shower or wedding?” kind of questions from the Hub. 

It’s like I am supposed by default to remember everyone’s schedule and stuff. Nope, this is not a ranting but sometimes am just amazed how did I survive all these.

Yes, I’m just a mom… Simple as that but difficult role to play well.

I have other mummy friends with younger kids (toddlers and babies) who asked me for advice occasionally. I do not claim to be an expert and only share with them my experience in the last 6.5 years of parenting. I do hope that they feel more assured and blessed by what I have shared with them. At the end of the day, I always tell them whatever they do, it’s their choice and there is no need to listen to naysayers…Be led by their heart and wisdom…

Frankly, sometimes, such giving of “advice” actually keeps me going as a mum and makes me feel better. There are a lot of times that I felt like such a monstrous, awful,yucky mummy to my kids especially when they are misbehaving or throwing silly tantrums (I’m easily short-fused and triggered, opps…)

That’s it…I’m just a mum…Period…

Inez graduation and orientation

The end of a chapter is the beginning of another chapter. 13 November marks the beginning of Inez stepping foot into her primary school and 20 November marks the end of her completing her pre-school days.

Let me share about the P1 Orientation first since it was the first event. Although it was only a short 2 hours, I felt that me & the Hub has made the best decision by sending her to Hub former alma mater. The orientation was structured, organized and information was not overloaded or too little. I really like the principal as I find her values align with ours. One thing she said that struck a chord with me was “Result is not everything, the character and value of your child is more important”. But too bad, she’s due to rotation to another school. I hope the next principal will continue to carry on her values.

The only thing that peeve me was the collection of school books. We made a pre-order prior to the Orientation, thinking that it will be faster to just collect it then. The queue for collection was so long as the parents were opening the packets of books to check before they made payment. I know this is no fault of the school but I think they should feedback to the vendors.

Now move on to share about something that makes me both happy, proud but at the same time emo as my firstborn finished her pre-school days.

That’s my girl!!!

The graduation concert started at 2pm and ended around 6pm and her two younger brothers kept asking, “Where is jie jie? Where she haven’t come out yet? Why she haven’t dance?”

I’m glad that she has forged strong friendship with her peers.

  Her best friend in school!

Wefie is a must for the family before the graduation concert starts.

Graduate lor!!!!

Now, let me flood you with the children photos of their concert, I think Inez and all her friends did such a great job, am so proud of all of them.

She’s the 3rd from the left.

A shout-out to all her pre-school teachers in her current and previous child care centre, thank you for making a difference in her life, shaping, pruning and molding her.

Stay at Hilton Hotel Kuala Lumpur

Due to work, I stayed at Hilton Hotel KL for 5 nights. I must say that I had a very pleasant stay and am very impressed with their service and the amount of breakfast spread they served.

The first night when I reached, there was no toothbrush and toothpaste. I called the housekeeping, they addressed me by name and brought the needed within 5 minutes. Every night, they will replenish the apple, grapes and almond nuts. Even though I was staying alone, they will top up twice the bottled mineral water. The same applies for the shampoo, conditioner and body lotion. I like the fact that they pay attention to details. When I can’t find the laundry listing to write,they brought not just one sheet but three sheets just in case.

I have not stayed in many hotels before but Hilton really impressed me with their spread of breakfast. We are spoilt for choice.wondering what to eat everyday. Although there were standard items that will be served everyday like bread, pastry, crossiant, porridge, sushi, fruits, fruit juice, nasi lemak, miso or oden soup with Japanese rice, noodle soup, prata, scrambled eggs, eggs Benedict, hash brown, cereal, homemade granola…I remembered that there was one day where yong tau foo, bah kut teh was served.

I even managed to take a dip in the hot jacuzzi and steam room which was really awesome. Taking time out in the midst of a busy schedule to be alone with Abba Father is something that I cherished especially when times can be challenging with work and parenting. This gives me an inspiration to write a blog in future listing down the good and bad about traveling for work

I get to stay here again in January next year for work and I really look forward to them in delighting me with their service.

Baby Looney Tunes Bed Linen Collection + Discount Code

Recently, I saw this on FaceBook and was a little appalled because it seems that my children are not getting enough sleep. As a parent, one of the thing that I am mindful of is the amount of sleep my children gets every night. I am very strict with their sleeping habits – no late nights for them even on Friday and Saturday night. My 5 year old boy and 6 year old girl wakes up around 8am but they go to bed around 9 to 930pm. My 3 year old boy wakes up around 730am and sleeps at night, with an hour to an hour and a half nap during the day.

I am constantly looking out for cute, smooth, cooling bed sheets for my children. Whenever the major malls have sale, I just find it hard to resist walking to the bed linen section although the Hub will remind me that there are still unopened sets of bed sheets lying in the storeroom. I just love how colorful bed sheets can make a bedroom bright and cheery.

So you can imagine how excited I was when Sleepwell sent me a single size comforter set of  Baby Looney Tunes Collection with 2 lovely cushions. Alright, I think the kids are more excited than me.

See how excited Inez and Reyez are when they saw Looney Tunes, they can recognize almost every one of the character.

Alvez with his new pillow case – in his favorite blue color.

Sleepwell is the authorized online distributor of King Koil, Style Master, 1819 and many more. They also carry a bed linen collection on Baby Looney Tunes  such as pillow and bolster case, bed sheets and comforter.

When we were changing the bed sheet, my girl squealed in excitement and shouted “This pillow and bed sheet is so soft!” Of course!! The bed sheet is made of supreme micro satin and has 380 thread count per 10cm sq. The pillow and bolster case and the bed sheet is really smooth to the touch and it feels cooling too. However the 2 cushions’ materials is slightly coarser but to the kids, they don’t really mind since it is more for hugging than sleeping on them.

They have both declared that this is their new found love…More like they get to hug Tweety to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With happy faces like that, which parent would not have an early night of rest…

Discount Code

From now till October 2015, you can enjoy free delivery and a free Baby Looney Tunes pillow case worth SGD3.90 when you purchase the Baby Looney Tunes products. When you purchase over SGD120, you will get a free Protect-A-Bed pillow protector that is worth SGD25. You can click here to see the Baby Looney Tunes products and here to discover more about the free gift pillow protector.

Hop over now to www.sleepwell.sg and enter discount code “SHOPWITHRACHEL” to enjoy this special offer.

Happy Shopping!

Disclosure: We received a single size bed sheet comforter set and 2 cushions for the purpose of this review. No other financial compensation is received. All photographs and opinions expressed in this post are solely mine.

 

Letter to my baby who turns 3 today

Dear Reyez

To be very honest, Mummy always wanted to have 2 kids as I feel that that will be manageable, three becomes a little troublesome.

When Mummy finally accepted the fact that you have become part of me, growing strong and healthy in the womb, I got over the slight depression that I initially had and I thank God that you are a precious gift that He has given to us.

You are one of the sweetest baby that I ever known – you are so affectionate and you freely give your hugs and kisses to all who requested. You are always ready to give me your cheery smile everyday when I go and come home from work.

There was never a moment of dullness or feeling of being bored for the moment spent with you.

Perhaps you are also the only one that looks most like Mummy and also you are the youngest in the family, you seem to get away the easiest from the discipline for now. But I guarantee that it will not stay that way for too long… 😛

Daddy, Mummy, Jie Jie and Kor Kor love you and I pray that you will continue to have that cheery adventerous personality, you will grow strong, healthy, happy kid that God wants you to be. Just like the meaning of your name, you will rule as king in this world with the wisdom and anointing of God in you.

Happy 3rd Birthday baby!

We are in First Gear mode towards no maid

I have recently made a transfer to another division within the Bank and am now an internal auditor and the job requires some business travelling (which my boss has very kindly agree to my condition of maximum of 5 days). With my new role to have to travel, we took it as an opportunity to work towards being independent and less reliant on maid since we planned to do away with the maid from next year.

During the long weekend when all is celebrating the Golden Jubilee of Singapore, I travelled to Macau for work for 10 days… Yes, you heard me right, it was 10 days. Of course I went with the support of the Hub and my mum. The Hub very gamely say No Problem.

So thankful to 2 of Hub’s good friends – Uncle Alan & Uncle Eugene who gamely say they want to bring the kids swimming on National Day. These 3 men together with the helper totally made the kids so happy and so tired that day cos they spend 4 hours in the pool from 10am to 3pm with breaks in between.

 

After that, the Hub took them to MBS area to catch fireworks. The below photo had a hashtag that the Hub says “When mummy not around, Daddy do crazy things’. With a hashtag like that, you know that all the 3 kids KO the moment they reach home at 1130pm.

I see my business travelling as an opportunity for the Hub to “UP” his gear level to spend more time to be more hands on with the kids.

What’s in the value?

Girl A: Oh, do you know my boyfriend bought this bag for me (it was a Celine bag).

Girl B: Really huh.. wow, your boyfriend so nice. I need to work for next few months and close my sales target then I can buy.

Girl A: Oh, my boyfriend also use his last 3 months commission to buy one cos I nagged at him for very long to get it for me liao…After that he got regret a bit but I told him just close more sales to get the money back lor.. hahaha…

After hearing the conversation, I was very disturbed and I wonder what’s in the value of a bag, or rather a branded one. Don’t get me wrong, if you have worked hard and want to pamper yourself, by all means, go ahead. But why must one use another person hard-earned money on such splurges, even if that person can be the boyfriend or even husband.

The Kate Spade bag that I bring to work was a blessing for my birthday 3 years ago from my previous cell group members and I am still using it. I will never spend >$500 on a bag, not even using my bonus. I’m a pragmatic and realistic person, I probably will use that $500 to go for a 3D2N trip to Bangkok.

I do not know why these youngsters need to carry a certain brand of bag or wear a certain type of shoe then they can be labeled as “Fashionista” or being in trend. I wonder what values system do they have? I am not judging them as I am in no position to judge anyway. It was a reminder to me that I need to inculcate the right values to my children.

My daughter has also been asking me if she can go ballet, whether she can have a pet, whether we can go Taiwan for holiday and the reason is only because her friend has it. I told her that it does not mean that whatever her friend has, she needs to have it to. I explained to her that God created us to be unique and it is ok to be different sometimes. I’m not sure how much of that “logic” she can grasp and whether it will sink into her spirit but at least I know I am starting from young.

You can call me old school but I still believe that hard work pays off and most importantly is the value system we embrace in our life which will make a difference.

My indulgences, my Me Time

Inez: I like Princess, Barbie and Little Pony.

Alvez: I like Thomas Train, Chuggington, Ironman, Superman, Captain America, Car.

Inez: So mummy, what do you like?

The above was a conversation that happened between my eldest and middle child. For a moment, I was dumbfounded when they ask me the question and I had to reply them with a “Good question, I need to think about it”.

This was just in time for me to dig deep as I hop on to my favorite Me-Times hosted by Prayerful Mum. This was really a good time for me to “re-discover” ME. I am not the typical girl who loves shopping, in fact, I find window shopping a waste of time. I am also very selective about the movies I watch and I don’t am not a sporty person (sounds like a hard to please person :p )

Mummies are one of the most self-sacrificial person on this world and sometimes, we let the busyness of our family, work and the various hats that we wear overtake us. I always believe that we need to recharge and get our love tank filled up before we can fill others. It’s not the duration, frequency, quantity or quality but just that pockets of time to be just ME.

If I ever get to enjoy a Massage nowadays, it will be a bonus as I have finished my package and have no intention to sign up anymore. I have aches in my shoulders and lower back due to my desk bound job and after having kids. I love how the masseur can knead away the knots in the pained area. It’s on my top priority list when I had the chance to go Bangkok or Batam.

I get to enjoy this once a month and the most enjoyable part of Facial for me is when the therapist finish the extraction and starts applying the mask. That tranquil moment of at least 20 minutes allows me to have a quick power nap where I can really put aside everything and REST. Sometimes, I like to take that time to do some reflections or ponder over life’s issues.This time is very precious to me!

I remembered that I enjoyed reading since young. But ever since I started working, I have chucked it aside, worse when the kids come along. I try to make it a point to read and complete 3 books this year (have finished one only till date) because when I start reading, you can hear “Mummy, why are you reading? Are you studying in school like us?” And then the kids will come and kaypoh over what I am reading and whether there are any pictures in the book. A Good Book With A Cuppa Tea In A Cafe will be awesome for me to indulge in.

I love to go SING IT OUT with a bunch of people who do not mind whose singing skills is most tactful or who has the most beautiful voice. We are there to chill, relax, laugh and have fun. I missed those times where I get to go KTV at least once every two or three months.

 

 

Next to hop onto this train is Pauline who is a SAHM to a 2 year old boy and newborn baby girl. She blogs initially about her frustrations of trying to conceive baby #1, and eventually the joy when she was finally expecting and then the journey from then on, from pregnancy to giving birth to breastfeeding woes. Now she blogs mainly on the challenges of caring for an active toddler and his various milestones  and developmental changes, and starting the parenting gig all over again with the arrival of #2. Read about her Me Times at http://journeytothebump.blogspot.sg/